Swiss Cheese

Have you read the book “Me Before You” by Jojo Moyes? Or the sequel “After You”? 

I won’t go on at length with a synopsis of either other than to say that a great love and loss occur #allthefeels

The main character goes on to refer to herself as bun in the before timeline and a doughnut in the afterwards. This, of all the flotsam and jetsam in the books, stayed with me. 

My dad’s death unmoored me. Completely. I still can barely comprehend it, I see him everywhere. I can’t even get my head around my not comprehending it. So I am still a doughnut. 

Except I feel flimsier than a doughnut. I got horrible news last night that someone I know and liked immensely has passed away. 

Another hole.

I read a beautiful tribute on FB to a baby that never lived. 

A hole. 

This is not to say that all the people I love and care about don’t patch me up with hugs and laughs and Cheez Its. But the holes start to stick around and they start to pile up. 

Swiss cheese. Some holes are bigger. Some holes fill in over time. 

Today I feel like Swiss cheese. 

Good thing the weather is nice, it helps 


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